


Hammer Time

by 8fred9



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Food, I have no excuse for this, M/M, Mjolnir is amazing, Taking care of Tony, Thor is clueless, Yes beta, bromance Clint/Tony for life, just because, just for fun, mostly Mjolnir and Tony, seriously Thor is barely there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 09:24:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3114749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8fred9/pseuds/8fred9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mjolnir + Tony = Cuteness and Fluff </p>
<p>That's it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hammer Time

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know people it was in my head and just didnt't want to go away...so here it is I'm sharing okay.
> 
> Beta by the amazing Sockera, thanks for all the amazing work and fast...dear lord!

Tony Stark was warm.

That in and out of itself was a small miracle and a wonderful discovery as he slowly and reluctantly blinked himself awake. His room, another surprise as he had actually awakened in his own bed for once, was still pitch in darkness. A peek behind his shoulder confirmed that the reason for the darkness laid on the fact that his blinds were still tightly shut not letting one iota of light in. Burrowing into his blanket he hummed happily. He rarely, if ever, woke up warm. For some unknown reason since Afghanistan he had trouble generating his own body heat. One would think that the arc reactor would provide some warmth, but no, it was just a fantastic nightlight and power source for his suit, with the added bonus of keeping him alive of course, but it only left him cold.

He had tried everything, electric blanket (very uncomfortable and at time way too warm), another body against his (very rare since the only person he had ever trust to stay the night was Pepper and they had broken up), extra layers of clothes (very uncomfortable as he had always been use to sleeping in the nude) and all the other tricks that had been recommended to him by close friends (Pepper, Rhodey and Happy) over the years. But nothing ever seemed to work or was too uncomfortable to actually sleep; only feeding his insomnia. If Rhodey was in town he gladly accepted to sleep in the same bed as his best friend sharing his body heat, but Pepper had revoked his cuddling right with the end of their relationship… somehow he had never asked Happy.

Most of the time he would be so exhausted that being cold didn’t actually bother him that much. He would however always wake up shivering, his lips slightly blue and would only have slept for a couple of hours. So at this very moment wrapped in his blanket and comfortably warm he was in heaven. Daring to reach one hand out of the blanket he grabbed his phone and blinked slowly at the time shown to him. This couldn’t be right…

He had slept more than twelve hours.

This couldn’t be real; he only ever slept an average of four to five hours on a good night (if he didn’t just pass out from exhaustion in his workshop). He had built his phone so it couldn’t be wrong, he wasn’t one to doubt his own tech after all… but still just in case.

“J?” Even his voice was lazy and still ruff with sleep, he never slept long enough for this to happen.

“Yes Master Stark?” His AI had smugness in his voice clearly enjoying his creator confusion.

“How long was I asleep?” Damn his voice was sexy in the morning he should record himself.

“You have slept exactly thirteen hours, twenty five minutes and forty two seconds sir. It is if I might add the longest you have ever slept since my creation sir.” Oh yeah the bastard was smug.

Looking down at his blanket he notices that it was tenting in the middle of the bed close to his stomach. He knew he wasn’t small, but that was definitely not morning wood. Moving his leg up, his skin came in contact with a warm solid metal feeling object. He was pretty sure he hadn’t brought any part of his suit to bed with him and it definitely wouldn’t have been this warm. Curiosity taking over the genius finally pulled the blanket up and frown at what was revealed.

Thor`s hammer, Mjölnir, was in the middle of his mattress, emitting warmth like it was… happy. He wasn’t sure how a hammer could feel happy but this one definitely felt very very happy to be there. Not that he could actually complain that the Asgardian God’s weapon had decided to share his bed… he wasn’t even sure if the hammer was sentient enough to understand him. But what was perplexing him, was that little A. his door was still close and whole so someone must have let it in and little B. Thor was still on his trip to Asgard and had just left the day before. Looking toward the ceiling to ask the only avenger who never slept and had eyes everywhere in the tower (yes Jarvis was an avenger and he dared anyone to try and prove he wasn’t) and spoke slowly his mind still trying to find answers to his questions.

“Jarvis what is Mjölnir doing in my bed? But more importantly, how did it get here?”

“Mister Odinson’s hammer crashed through the balcony window late last night and made its way to your door. I felt it would be better your door integrity to let it in, as it seemed about to make an overture for itself.” What he knew the AI was leaving out was that he hadn’t perceived the God of Thunder’s hammer as a treat to its creator. As for how the hammer had made its way under his covers would have to be seen on his room footage at a later date.

“Is Thor already back from Asgard?” He couldn’t understand why the hammer was here if Thor was still in his own realm. He did recall the big blond thundering on in his loud voice about bringing Jane Foster with him this time, so he could introduce her as his soul mate (or something equally cheesy or Shakespearian).

“There was an energy reading signaling the arrival from Asgard but it seemed only Mister Odinson’s weapon made it to our realm sir.”

Tony hummed softly only just now realizing that while he had been talking to his AI, his hand had been petting the hammer like it was a pet. If the warmth and little electric sounds he was hearing were any indication Mjölnir really didn’t mind the petting. It was the first time he had ever felt anything from the weapon and was struck once again by the amazing power of Asgardian magic. Most of the time he would talk to his suit like it was a real person, but the response he was getting from the hammer was genuine and almost felt like it was alive. He was still lost in thought when his stomach made a growly noise reminding just how hungry he was (he wasn’t even sure when was the last time he had had any solid food in him). With one final pat to Mjölnir he rolled out of bed and to his feet.

He looked back once at the still tenting blanket on his bed and skipped to his personal shower. He couldn’t remember when the last time he had a shower either. Throwing his t-shirt and boxers to the floor as Jarvis started the shower so it would be the perfect temperature; he caught his reflection in the mirror and froze. He looked at least ten years younger. There wasn’t any dark bags under his eyes, no his body looked relax and healthy, he hadn’t looked so appease since… Afghanistan. He would have to borrow Thor`s hammer more often if he was able to sleep through the night with it at his side.

He was struck at how safe he had felt. He hadn’t had any nightmares, hadn’t awaken screaming. It was like his body had known it was safe. And really how much safer could a man be with the God of Thunder’s mighty hammer looking out for you?

Turning away from the mirror he jumped in the shower letting the warm water wash away the last trace of sleepiness away. His stomach growled again so he finished his ablution as fast as he could, feeling more and more like he could eat a whole cow all by himself. Jarvis cut out the flow of water as he stepped out and as he reached for a towel his gaze caught to the object waiting for him just outside his glass wall shower.

Mjölnir was there, waiting to the side like he knew where to be so Tony wouldn’t stumble on him. Peeking in his room the genius saw that his blankets where on the floor in a trail leading to the shower. Not sure what to think he crouched down and once more petted the hammer. He would never try to lift it (he had seen Steve try and fail and if super Boy Scout couldn’t do it and then he sure as hell wouldn’t be able to) and instead stood back up and walk to his closet. Dropping the towel, he pulled on new boxers, faded worn out jeans and his favorite AC/DC t-shirt choosing to stay bare feet. He wasn’t really surprise once he stepped out of the closet to find Mjölnir on his bed. It felt like the hammer wanted him to go back to bed with him… it was a little weird to know exactly what a supposedly unanimated object was thinking.

“Sorry honey I`m too hungry for round two!” And he was talking to it just like he talked to Jarvis and his bots. Oh well it was made of metal and could move on its own, Mjölnir definitely fell into the pieces of metal he liked, so why not. He could swear the hammer was pouting at him, so he slipped out of his room grinning.

He was humming happily as he walked into the kitchen and saw Clint making pancake. The archer looked at him, then at the clock, then back at Tony looking quite shocked.

“Wait! Did you… where you sleeping all this time?” When he nodded with a grin the archer mouth fell open in disbelief. Taking full advantage of the birdbrain’s distraction Tony stole the plate of pancake the archer had just set aside for himself and walked to the counter pouring syrup all over them. “HEY!”

“Too slow Legolas, too slow!” Clint could have easily taken his pancakes back, but there was a secret understanding between all the avengers that if Tony ever stole some of their food they should just let him as the genius rarely, if ever, made food for himself and would let himself die of starvation before actually cooking. So anytime he stole food the others simply glared at him, but otherwise let him eat from their plate so they at least knew he was eating something other than coffee. So Tony dug into the delicious pancakes moaning as the fluffy perfectly made circles of heaven pastry melted in his mouth.

He looked around after basically breathing in three pancakes, his stomach finally happy and started to eat the last two more slowly noticing the calm. It made sense since Natasha was on a SHIELD mission in Italy, Bruce was on one of his feel good trips to India to give free medical care, Steve was on a PR run for the avengers with Fury and Coulson and Thor… well Thor was in Asgard. Still it was very rare that there were less than four people in the tower. Clint came to sit beside him bumping his shoulder and grinning. As the archer looked down his smile slipped away replaced by a frown, he looked up and meet the genius gaze. “Tony?”

“Yeah Merida?”

“Why is the big guy’s hammer under your chair?” Surprised he looked down and found that Mjölnir was indeed under his seat. He hadn’t even heard it move or felt it. The hammer seemed pleased to have been found out and buzzed lowly. “Wait… is it happy? Can a hammer be happy?... Stark?”

If Clint was using his last name then he was truly confused. The archer only ever used his last name in case of emergency or if he needed answers as soon as possible. Since the incident with Loki the archer really wasn’t comfortable with magic of any kind.

He was usually okay with Thor’s brand of thunder magic, but anything Asgardian he couldn’t understand was met with great suspicion. So the fact that an object the archer had thought unanimated was now showing up without his owner and seemed to have feelings wasn’t making Barton very happy. Still the younger man wasn’t going all crazy (finding explosive or calling SHIELD) so the genius took his time taking another bite of his pancake before answering.

“Jarvis says it came though the balcony window last night and then it came to cuddle in bed with me.” Clint nodded slowly and then his eyes sparkled in recollection like something had just connected in his brain. 

“Oh! That’s why the window is broken.” He looked at the archer with raised eyebrows.

“Seriously? You freak out because our resident God’s hammer is here, but a hole in one of our windows doesn’t raise any alarms?” The blond shrugged like it was no big deal before answering.

“Dude for the number of time one of us accidentally broke a window or really anything in the tower, a hole in the window really wasn’t a big deal. Especially since it seemed to be the only damage and Jarvis didn’t wake me up with any alarms. Where a hammer cuddling with you IS weird as all hell! What if Thor needs it?”

Tony looked down at Mjölnir and gave a shrug of his own. “I’m assuming it’ll beam itself back to Asgard.”

Clint looked at him for a moment, clearly weighing if he should be okay with this or not and then held out his fist for a bump (probably for the Star Trek reference). Accepting the truce the genius and the archer turned back to their food in companionable silence. Of all the avengers Clint was probably Tony’s second favorite (Bruce would always be is favorite science bro), the younger man was just as geeky as him of not more and just like him had absolutely no shame in quoting as many media as he could when they spoke together. There was a kind of brotherly love between the two men, even though the genius resented always feeling like the younger brother as Clint was always pranking him. Mjölnir made another happy buzzing sound and Clint looked down, this time with a little smile on his face.

“I never knew it was actually… you know kind of alive. It’s kind of neat.” He could only agree with the archer on this one. If his suit was emitting feeling or moving on its own, it would be totally awesome and he was pretty sure Clint was thinking the same thing about his bow.

“I know it’s the first time it ever acted like this… well with me anyway.” They both looked at the hammer for a moment and then started a conversation debating Kirk versus Picard as they ate the last of the pancake with a truly disgusting amount of syrup.

Once done he thought he would simply slipped away in his work shop, but since they were all alone together in the tower and it had been quite a while since they had a video game tournament, the genius agreed to it when the younger man turned his puppy eyes of doom on him. They decided to go with retro video games and installed themselves in the living room, noting in passing that they should really call someone about the hole in the window.

“Someone has already been call and will come to repair the damage tomorrow morning sir.” Jarvis piped in as they hurled all the junk food they had found in the kitchen along with as many caffeine drink as they thought they could drink before becoming sick. They both shouted their thanks to the AI and fire up the gaming system.

It really wasn’t a surprise to the genius anymore as he looked next to him to see Mjölnir cuddling to his side radiating comforting heat. Even Clint only spared it a look as his attention was all on the giant screen TV. Somehow it seems perfectly normal to be playing video games with a hammer buzzing happily next to him. Once in a while the genius would reach for it patting it in thanks for the warmth, but otherwise simply leaved it be. They played through the night, until even caffeine drinks couldn’t keep them awake and fell asleep on the floor, the controller still in their hands and the genius wrapped around Mjölnir. 

The next morning as the genius was looking on as the archer flipped and turned pancake in an acrobatic way preparing their breakfast, Tony decided to do a little experiment. So far the hammer had followed him everywhere without the genius or Barton ever seeing it move. It was just always there. This morning had been no exception. One moment Clint had his tongue out looking up at the pancake he had just flung in the air and ready to catch it again, while Tony had yawn so hard his jaw had cracked and his eyes had gone blurry and the next thing either of them knew Mjolnir was right there next to him on the counter. The genius had leaned back startled once again out how fast the hammer could move as they had left it in the living room not moments ago. Clint had enough reflex not to let his surprise lose him a precious pancake and had caught the flying food easily but his eyebrows where raised close to his hairline as he looked at the Asgardian weapon.

‘’Okay nope that’s still creepy.’’ Tony had to slowly nod in agreement. ’’It’s like one of those YouTube videos with the cats that only move when you don’t watch them… ninja cats!``

The genius gave the archer a long look and then completely blamed the fact that he was still an half asleep zombie that hadn’t had his coffee yet to the very undignified giggle that escaped him at the picture of Mjolnir as a ninja cat that appeared in his head.

"Yeah yeah birdbrain, ninja Asgardian hammer!" But still it was something to think about and something that made the genius curious. 

"There you go stuff your face with these homemade pieces of heaven." Clint placed a plate filled with delicious golden pancakes and slide the syrup toward him before turning around to start on his own pill.

As he was shuffling as much of the perfectly moist and sugary pancake in his mouth he kept on looking at Mjolnir lost in thought. "How about we test your ninja cat theory then?"

The archer made a little sound of inquiry as he had yet again flipped one of his round perfection in the air and was keeping track of it. Knowing he wouldn't get the younger man’s full attention until he was done with his cooking, Tony mumble something vague that made no sense and waited until the archer was sitting in front of him and drowning his pancakes in syrup.

"I said how about we test your ninja cat theory?" Barton gaze moved to the hammer still resting next to the genius (he could swear it was humming happily as Tony took more bite of his food).

"Okay how?"

"Well since it doesn't seemed to want to leave my side, I was thinking I run away while you stare at it to see how it reacts." It was the simplest way he could explain all the calculation and variable his brain had come up with since the idea had sprouted in his mind and he knew Clint always loved his dummy down explanation (contrary to Bruce that always wanted him to show his work in its entirety and explain it as much as he possibly could before agreeing to anything).

"Yeah okay I get the idea... but hum... how smart was it of you to discuss this in front of the test subject?" Clint pointed to the hammer with his fork and raised an eyebrow like he himself couldn't believe what he was asking.

"From what I remember Thor saying about Mjolnir, it is partly sentient and deeply connected to Thor as he is its rightful owner. But it doesn't actually understand words... it just... I don't know he said something about feelings and souls and I zoned out." The whole conversation had started quite interesting but as Thor wasn't an actual spell caster (his words not Tony's), the big blond hadn't really been able to explain his connection with his hammer in great detail. But what the genius did remember was that Mjolnir came to Thor because it felt the Norse God’s need for its presence and not because Thor was actually yelling for it (as he often did in the middle of battles).

"Okay, then sounds good to me, when did you want to test your theory?" Tony gave a little pout toward his empty plate and looked back up and the archer.

"Well... NOW!" He glimpsed Barton as he was startled, he move backward at Tony’s shout as he jumped to his feet and started running. He didn't go far, simply turned a corner and pressed himself against a wall listening.

"Not cool Stark! So not... WOW!" At the call of surprise the genius peeked over the corner and gave a shout of his own as Mjolnir froze inches from his face stuck in midair. Both he and the hammer stood completely still. If Tony was to lean a fraction forward his nose would bump into the hammer’s head still hovering in front of his face.

A breath he didn't realize he had been holding escaped him and to his surprise the Asgardian weapon dropped to the floor with a very loud thumping noise and started broadcasting guilt all around. He crouched in front of the hammer and reached over to pet it lightly.

"There there it's alright."

"Stark!" Tony noted the tone of worry in the archer’s voice and answered promptly to reassure him in the usual way.

"Still alive!" He heard a mumble of agreement and turns his attention back to Mjolnir who just kept on broadcasting all kind of miserable emotions.

"Awww its okay little buddy you didn't hurt me, your just startled me. See no harm, please don't feel bad."

"Stark are you baby talking with an Asgardian weapon?" Tony looked up to see Barton holding his almost empty plate of pancakes peeking at him from the other end of the corridor. The genius flipped him off. "You do know you’re the one who said it couldn't understand us when we talk right?"

"Shut up Barton! I have video footage of you flirting with your bow and that's without talking about the serenade you made for your new arrow last week." 

"At least my bow is sexy." He watch as Clint shrugged and turned around walking away, probably to go watch some morning cartoons. With one final glare to the retreating archer Tony continued to pet Mjolnir until it seemed to calm down.

When Tony straighten up and started to take a step back the hammer moved with him. It was hovering just above the ground at ankle level and followed the genius every step. With a smile Tony jumped around and even tried some dancing steps and Mjolnir easily followed. Clearly the hammer had decided that it would be simpler to just follow Tony around then to try to sneak around undetected and possibly accidentally harm the genius.

"Oh I'm so introducing you to my babies now!"

Mjolnir easily followed him down the stairs to his workshop always very close to the genius’ legs, but never close enough that it would accidentally trip him. As usual, as soon as Tony stepped into the workshop everything came alive. The light turned on, his holograms reappeared, showing exactly where he had left off in his specs and his babies all moved towards him. The Asgardian hammer didn't seem to mind as Dum-E rolled close to it making little inquiry whistling noises. Just as the curious poke of You and Butterfingers seemed to be tolerated. The genius had no idea if the weapon could feel the love he had for his little trio, but it made no move against them so he sighed in relief and moved towards his holograms where he had been working on a new underwater armor (an accident with a Kraken looking creature weeks before had given him a very good incentive to start working in this petticoat suit).

"Now children play nice, daddy has to work." He got nothing from Mjolnir that was now resting next to his feet, but all his robots gave little signs or sounds that confirmed to him that they would occupied them self and stay out of his way.

Completely absorbed in his work the genius looked up once as a very happy whistling sound reached his hear, Dum-E. Looking around he spotted the robot rolling around the workshop not understanding why it seemed so happy, until he saw Mjolnir perched on top of it. If he concentrated a little he could feel happiness from the hammer as it was chauffeured around the workshop and Dum-E was simply delighted to have something to do. Looking on for a little while he made sure Jarvis had recording it all (because it was adorable!) and then turned back to his work humming happily. 

The second time he looked up it was because something was poking his side trying to get his attention. When he looked up seeing that many hours had passed as he had gotten lost in his mind, he found Mjolnir poking him with its handle. It was doing so because on top of the hammer’s head was a bowl of fuming spaghetti with Clint's signature meatballs. The genius quickly grabbed the bowl already containing a fork and watch as this time Mjolnir came to rest in front of him like it was daring the genius not to eat.

"Hum... thanks?" The weapon buzzed happily. Looking toward the ceiling for an explanation the genius’ hand came to wrap itself around the fork as his stomach grumbled happily at the sight of food. "J you still up?"

"Of course Master Stark, how may I be of assistance?" The genius pointed to the food and then to Mjolnir with his free hand as he was now busy shuffling food in his mouth. He was ravenous and hadn't realized how hungry he truly was until the smell of food had hit him. "As sir Barton started preparing his own supper (okay so he had completely skipped dinner good to know), Mjolnir went back up and stayed close to sir Barton until he seemed to understand the silent request. Sir Barton made some test to see if Mjolnir could bring food down to you by placing on its large head and once it was proven that it could it was send down to you."

"Thanks J!" 

"Always happy to serve sir." Tony looked up at the smugness in his AI voice, but choose to, as always, to ignore it. Of course Jarvis would love anything that could make the genius sleep and remind him to eat. Finishing his meal in silence, Tony keeps his free hand on Mjolnir petting it softly, his fingers running over its edges. He still wasn't sure why the hammer was so inept on stalking, feeding and even sleeping with him, but it hadn't done anything threatening and so far was the kind of perfect companion that the genius so love (silent, helpful and made of metal). So even when hours later Mjolnir started to nudge him toward the stairs and then to his room he still didn't complained. Because really he had rarely felt so relaxed and as the night before he curled himself around the hammer and was washed in comforting heat that lulled him into a peaceful sleep. Really it could have been worse... it could have been Steve’s shield stalking him around and boy would that have been awkward.

[M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. 

Over the next couple of days, and for the first time in his life, Anthony Stark started to feel like a real human being. Having Mjolnir as his personal shadow encouraged him to sleep on a regular scheduled (always in bed before one in the morning was a regular schedule for him), his food intake increased as the hammer brought the dishes Clint prepared directly to him and he was forced to work less.

The decrease in his work time was mostly due to the fact that after some time spent in his workshop, the Asgardian weapon would have some point decide that it had been enough work and start threatening to smash various things lying around. The first time he had seen the hammer hovering over his tablet he hadn’t thought much about it and went back to work. It was agonizingly painful to hear sounds of the tablet being smashed by said hammer had been all the warning the genius had been given before the tablet had been reduce to pieces in front of his eyes. The genius had been so shocked he had refused to touched Mjolnir for the rest of the day, until the guilt he felt pouring out of the weapon and his desires to sleep with its warmth had force him to forgive it. The incident had been enough warning and Tony had started to pay more attention to the hammer, so every time he saw it hover for too long over some piece of tech he knew it was time to leave the workshop.

“You look good.” Tony looked up from his seat on the sofa where he had been watching some funny romantic comedy to see Clint looking at him with a frown.

“Should I call Nat and tell her I finally stolen your heart? I mean we all knew it was coming.” The archer rolled his eyes and came to sit next to the smaller man, snuggling next to him and not commenting on the fact that the genius’ feet were resting on the hammer hovering just at the right height from the ground (it also keep his feet warm).

“Shut up Richie Rich, I mean I think it’s the first time I’ve ever seen you without dark circles under your eyes. You actually look relaxes and happy… it’s a little weird.”

“Didn’t know you cared bird brain.” The archer gave him a long look and Tony threw his arm around the younger man’s shoulder. “Okay I know you care sorry. I do feel better… I haven’t had a nightmare in days. ``

To his credit Clint didn’t look surprised, the archer gazed into his eyes, knowing that most nights the genius would awaken in cold sweats and stay up until he simply passed out from exhaustion hoping not to relive his nightmares. Tony himself wasn’t sure if by some magic Mjolnir was the one keeping the nightmares away or if it was the knowledge that the hammer was watching over him in his sleep (you would be dumb enough to try anything with an Asgardian weapon watching over him), but since the hammer had started sharing his bed, his nights were peaceful. The archer and the genius shared a look and Clint snuggled closer stealing his warmth.

“That`s good then, old men need their sleep.” Tony pinched the archer lightly in retaliation and they fell into a companionable silence watching the movie and laughing at all the cliché the movie was filled with.

The next morning as Tony came into the kitchen craving a PB and Jam to go with his morning coffee, Mjolnir at his heels like usual, he heard soft voices coming from the living room, someone was back.

“CLINT!”

“Thor’s back!“ Oh! He looked down at the hammer resting next to his feet with a frown. If Thor was back then why was the hammer still at his side? 

The genius looked up as he watched Clint push (the Asgardian letting himself be push obviously) Thor into the kitchen and sat him at a chair around the island. The archer, for his part, jumped on the Table facing the big blond as Tony started pulling out ingredient for his breakfast. He did notice however that the big lung seemed down, not his usual cheery self at all. He waited until Barton peered at him and raised an eyebrow in inquiry.

“Jane dumped him.” Thor sighed heavily nodding at the statement looking defeated.

“WHAT!?! Why?” Before leaving for Asgard they had seemed so happy, ready to get married and have an army of little half human-half Asgardian babies. Clint shrugged and they both turned to Thor for an explanation.

“My soul did not bond to the Lady Jane; it refused her as the missing part of my heart.” The confused looks on both his and Clint’s faces must have showed how little they understood the statement, but Thor just went on. “The ceremony took days to prepare, it was to be a moment of celebration as the crown prince of Asgard was to take his bride and soulmate before the court and the All Father.”

Now the genius and the archer both cringed seeing where the story was heading. “The ceremony was perfect, Lady Jane was dressed in white, the Gods looked upon us with smiles and as the high priest declared our souls to be bonded for eternity by our pure and ever faithful love… my soul refused my Lady.”

“How does ones soul refused someone exactly?” The genius had to ask, he just had too.

“It pushes the false better half as far as it can… in my Lady Jane’s case that was out of one of the palace windows.” At the look of horror on Clint`s face and his gasp of shock, the God was quick to add. “The Lady is fine, she was caught by one of the guards and brought back safe, but she was quite humiliated and choose to end our courtship.”

“Sorry buddy.” The archer patted the big blond’s arm as he sighed heavily once more.

“I truly believed I had found the other part of my soul in Lady Jane, but as my mother said a part of myself seemed to have disagreed with me… if only I knew which so I could challenge its decision in battle.” Clint seemed to realize something as his eyes widen and he looked at Tony in shock, but the genius didn’t understand the archer’s reaction and keep on preparing his sandwich looking for his favorite grape jam. Locating it on the highest shelf he could hear Thor continued tirade on what he would do to this treacherous part of himself that had rejected his precious Lady. He felt a nudge close to his leg and looked down at Mjolnir silently accepting its help as he placed both feet on the hammer and allowed himself be lifted off the floor until he could reach the coveted jam. As he was gently lowered back down and dismounted the hammer he turned back to see Thor looking at him in shock. The genius froze holding the jam jar against his chest and Mjolnir must have sense his distress as it moved closer to his side and onto the kitchen island. The big blond’s gaze travelled from the hammer to the genius in confusion.

“Man of Iron?”

“…I didn’t do anything.“ Better to deny everything now and for once he truly hadn’t done anything wrong. Clint was looking at the scene with interest clearly understanding something that was still eluding the genius. Thor seemed confused by Tony`s reaction and Mjolnir banged itself lightly on the island marble making a threatening sound… warning Thor off.

“What is the meaning of this?” Another threatening banging from the hammer and the genius moved forward to pet Mjolnir silently asking for it to calm down and maybe pretty please not to attack Thor. As soon as his hand made contact with the warm metal Mjolnir hummed happily and released pleased feelings all around… oh dear.

“Thor I swear t I didn’t… it came into my bed and just started following me I swear!” The large blond was still staring at the hammer, his gaze fixed on it. Piercing blue eyes looked at the genius with a frown. Ever so silently and without reaching for his weapon, Thor moved to his feet and walked away. Still clutching his jam jar with one hand and the other hand busy petting Mjolnir Tony looked to the archer.

“You’re truly dumb for a genius.” With that piece of wisdom Clint jumped down from the island and also walked out. Tony looked at him go confused and looked at the hammer still humming happily under his fingers.

“No seriously what?” Silence was his only answer.

[M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. [M]==. 

Over the next few weeks Thor seemed to be either avoiding him or staring at him from afar. Tony had no idea what to do as Mjolnir still followed him everywhere. Of course if there was an emergency or an attack as soon as the genius was in his suit the hammer would be in the Asgardian’s hand. But once the danger had passed and he was out of his suit back it was at his side. He did caught little glimpse of Jane as she came to visit once or twice during that time, they seemed to have accepted the situation and would try to remain friends. But Thor simply wasn’t talking to him.

Clint still called him an idiot every time he tried to talk about the situation with him and when Natasha came back from her mission and was explained the situation she started looking at him like he was the dumbest person in history. Since neither of them seemed willing to explain why he was suddenly so dumb, he chose to ignore them. They seemed to have decided he should figure it out by himself, so he himself decided to ignore them.

So here he was sitting in his workshop working on a new piece for his suit when he smelled food and his stomach grumbled. This wasn’t new as the archer keep on sending him dishes via hammer, but there was the slight problem of Mjolnir who hadn’t yet left his side and was right this moment resting at his feet. Looking over Tony saw Thor holding a platter of food looking very out of place in his Asgardian armour surrounded by modern earth tech.

“Thor?” The blond took a step forward and presented his food, offered in silence. Tony gingerly took the plate looking up at the giant blond who wouldn’t look him directly in the eyes. “Thank you.”

Thor nodded and walked out in silence. It was weird, but the weirdest part was that it kept on happening. Every time the genius was working in his workshop, always around the time Mjolnir would usually leave his side to fetch him food, Thor appeared clad in his armour with a platter of food and then would leave. Most of the times Tony thanked him and watched him leave but once he made comments that change something in the blond.

“Why are you always wearing that? I mean even when Loki was trying to rule the world he at least wore a suit once.” Thor had frozen frowned at his Asgardian armour and walked out as usual. Tony would have dismissed his reaction, but the next day a jeans and shirt wearing Thor brought him food. The God’s blond hairs were tied back from his face and he smiled smugly at the look of appreciation the genius gave him, still he walked away in silence.

All of those silent encounter ended the day Tony was sitting in the living room reading a journal his feet resting on Mjolnir and heard a soft clearing of the throat. He looked up to see Thor looking at him expectantly. 

“Man of… Anthony! I have matters to settle with you.” A little worried Tony watch on as Thor came to sit next to him and took away his journal, placing it aside. Dropping his feet from Mjolnir Tony turned so he was facing the big blond and nodded encouragingly. He had been expecting many things, but Thor placing a gentle hand on his neck and pulling him forward for a kiss wasn’t one of them.

The kiss was soft, claiming and tender, nothing like Tony would have ever expect from such a strong and loud man, but very welcoming. When the blond pulled away keeping a hand on the smaller man’s neck he was smiling happily. He was pulled for a second, third and… he lost count, kiss Tony finally understood why Clint and Natasha had called him an idiot… which he truly was.

And when days later he woke up with Mjolnir resting against his chest and an Asgardian God using him as a little spoon, he definitely thought himself the luckiest man in the world and still blamed the hammer for all of it.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always loved because of reason and this is crack and I'm sorry I'll never do it again!
> 
>  
> 
> maybe...


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